Steps for Leaving an Abusive Relationship Part 1

It recently came to light that some of you may want help getting yourself or a loved one out of an abusive relationship. I'm going to do my best to give you an overview of what I reccomend to do, to get out and keep yourself safe in doing so.
*Results May Vary

First things first, you need to assess whether you are actually in an abusive relationship. Abuse can come in many different forms. In no particular order -

1. Withholding - Money, food, shelter, attention, affection or anything else a rational human being would deem necessary for life or a healthy adult relationship.

2. Emotional/Verbal Abuse - This means calling you fat, stupid, or worthless, among other things.

*My ex-husbands favorite was to call me "trailer trash", "fat" or a "loser".

3. Physical Abuse - This is slapping, punching, kicking, hitting, biting or any other kind of physical conduct you find to be intrusive (rape, molestation, erratic driving, etc.)

And last but not least, #4 I haven't heard of many other people having to deal with but it was my evil ex's favorite was what I like to call -

4. Embarrassment Abuse - This method of abuse consists of being in a public place, basically being pushed to your breaking point and once you've hit the wall and say something in response, they get loud or make a scene so that YOU look like the abusive one, in order to publicly shame you.

*My evil ex had the tendency of erratically driving in order to raise my blood pressure and then move into verbal abuse to basically tell me I didn't deserve to be alive. By the time we had reached our destination, I was content on keeping my mouth shut and not fueling his fire. We start walking up to the building and he begins screaming at me in front of a family with 2 pre-teen/teen daughters who did NOT need to see a man screaming at his wife. I could write and entire blog about this incident, so I'll just leave it at that.

Overview - Abuse is one in the same with being bullied. Even if I failed to mention the way you are feeling bullied, please don't feel invalid in your feelings. You deserve to be happy and no one should be able to control that.

And on that note if you identify with any of these behaviors in your spouse, I suggest you seek help immediately! Read part 2 for ways to seek help and a way out.